• Harold puts the moves on Elizabeth. In person, Harold seems so different from his internet persona that Elizabeth fantasizes about who Harold really is in a Crouching Tiger fantasy sequence. When Harold finds out that Elizabeth is still a virgin, he slows down so he won’t scare her off. He pretends to be too drunk to drive home so Elizabeth invites him to spend the night. In order to gain her trust, Harold insists on sleeping on the sofa.
• Jenna and Adam confess to Tess that not only have they been seeing each other, but they've already slept together. They both feel awful because they never meant to hurt Tess. They didn’t know she was getting a divorce from Zane when they had hooked up. Tess storms off. Jenna tells Adam she can’t continue to see him under the circumstances and runs off to find Tess.
• Meanwhile, the sexual tension between Shari and Nathan continues to build. In a sexy Zorro sequence, they both fantasize about what would happen if each were to reveal how passionately s/he felt about the other. Neither wants to ruin the friendship they share, but neither knows how long they can stand not fulfilling their desires.
• The next morning, while Elizabeth is making him breakfast, Harold notices an instant message on Elizabeth’s computer from “Cyrano.” He quickly realizes that Elizabeth thinks he is her internet Cyrano and IM’s the real Cyrano back. The real Cyrano apologizes for having stood Elizabeth up the night before. Harold pretends to be Elizabeth and gives Cyrano a new email address to correspond to.
• Kenneth wakes up with a bad hang-over and is shocked to discover a naked woman in his bed.
• Nathan drops by to see Jenna. He hopes by getting back together with Jenna, he’ll get over his sexual feelings for Shari. But much to his and Jenna’s surprise, Shari drops by Jenna’s apartment to see Kenneth. Shari had come over to try to make amends with Kenneth, and in doing so, is hoping to alleviate her strong feelings for Nathan. Desperately, Kenneth tries to get Shari out, but it’s too late. Shari not only discovers the naked woman, but it turns out that the woman is her cousin Chloe. To save face, and keep up the ruse that she’s married to Nathan for Chloe’s benefit, Shari tells Kenneth that Nathan is the only man for her. Kenneth is stunned. Jenna, infuriated at how callously Shari is treating Kenneth, fantasizes about stabbing Shari to death in a vengeance-filled Princess Bride duel. Shari drags Nathan out of the apartment and ruins his chances of ever getting back together with Jenna. Meanwhile, Chloe, believing that Nathan is married to Shari, assumes that Shari’s been having an affair with Kenneth.
• Kenneth feels guilty for having a one-night stand, especially with Shari’s cousin, but then finds out from Chloe that he was so drunk he passed out before he could get it up.
• Meanwhile, Tess drops by Elizabeth’s school for lunch and tells her about Jenna sleeping with Adam and how Tess is tired of always being the odd person out and that no one will ever have to worry about her again. Tess has a Kill Bill fantasy about slashing Jenna’s heart out and spanking Adam with her sword.
• At Kenneth’s business meeting with Harold, Harold reveals his sleazy intentions for Elizabeth are. Kenneth fantasizes about defending Elizabeth’s honor and taking Harold out Bruce Lee style, but can’t afford to lose such a valuable client for his company.
• Nathan tries to cheer Shari up and encourages her to go to her Jazzercise class.
• Kenneth tries to warn Elizabeth about Harold, but Elizabeth questions why Kenneth won’t let her move on with her life. She’s finally found another Chinese American guy that she actually likes and Kenneth doesn’t have the right to tell her who she can and can’t date. They are interrupted by a phone call from Jenna. She’s worried about Tess, having looked and called everywhere with no luck. Elizabeth tells Jenna about her conversation with Tess and they both panic, thinking that Tess might be upset enough to kill herself. Kenneth offers to help Elizabeth.
• In actuality, Tess has been walking all over town, trying to sort out her feelings. After much contemplation, she realizes that it’s stupid to get so upset over a guy and that there are lots of things that make her happy without having to be in a relationship.
• She finds Adam at his Jazzercise class and tells him she’s okay with him dating Jenna. But when she discovers that Shari was the one who had told Adam that she was married, Tess starts a brawl with Shari. Jenna finds them and jumps into the fight, and she and Tess manage to kick Shari’s ass. Tess and Jenna make up.
• When Kenneth drops Elizabeth off at home, he finds Harold waiting for Elizabeth at her door.
• Chloe tells Shari and Nathan that she plans on moving to Seattle and Shari fantasizes about whacking Chloe’s head off with a broadsword ala Highlander. Nathan tells Shari he’ll stay by her side. Then they slowly start to kiss.