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Yo.

Welcome to the world of Tess Matsudaira. It’s a hell hole. OK, maybe it’s not that bad, but I’ll let you judge for yourself. No weirdos allowed! … But I’ll make an exception if you’re hot or cute.

Tess

BIRTHDAY: April 6, 1976

PARENTS: Makoto & Kikako Matsudaira

MARRIED/SINGLE? Was married to my high school best bud ~ Zane! Who's gay! But we’re newly divorced (should be finalized any day now!) So I’ve pretty much been single and sexless (well, other than with me, myself & I!) forever! Even when I was married! Then bam! Both Colin Kameoka and Nathan Wychovsky wanted me. Even though Colin and I get along great (he’s the best roomie ever!), I chose to be with Nathan because I prefer white guys. But now things are awkward with Colin, which I hate, because we do get along in every way except that I’ve never been sexually attracted to Asian American guys and I love sex – a LOT!
BIRTHPLACE: Seattle, WA

EDUCATION: 3 years at Seattle Central Community College, no major ~ couldn't decide

AWARDS: Arm wrestling champ in the 4th grade!

OCCUPATION: Psychic Hotline Operator (for now)

PETS: No time, plus they poop too much

FAVORITE BOOK: Bathroom stall graffiti!

FAVORITE MOVIE: Any Jackie Chan movie

PLACE TO BE KISSED: Right on the kisser

BEST FEATURE: My lips. Oh! And my butt!